


euphoria in december

by bongjaehyunz



Series: euphoria in december [1]
Category: Golden Child (Korea Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-04-06 10:56:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14055438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bongjaehyunz/pseuds/bongjaehyunz
Summary: pediatrician bong jaehyun meets single dad kim jibeom one freezing winter, with their relationship blossoming into a warm and cozy one





	1. Chapter 1

The smell of antiseptic and hand sanitizer filled the corridors as Jaehyun made his rounds. The first day of December this year was exceptionally cold, even indoors, Jaehyun had to rub his hands together to feel the warmth. It snowed heavily outside that day, Jaehyun counted his lucky stars that he did not head home the previous night, but instead he slept in his office, soundly and undisturbed like a baby. He greeted the patients along the way, flashing his signature smile and warming their mornings. Everyone loved Jaehyun, he was the youngest in the Pediatrics department and his colleagues treated him like their younger siblings, and some of them would even pamper him like a son.

It was a daily routine for Jaehyun to grab his breakfast from the vending machine at the end of the corridor, his favourite square toast always tasted exceptionally warm and sweet on a cold winter morning. Jaehyun dropped the coins into the vending machine, pressed the necessary buttons, and took a few steps back to wait while the machine heated the toast up. “Oh, that’s the last one.” Jaehyun turned to look at the owner of the small voiceー a little girl probably about 5, Jaehyun guessed, tip-toed as she peered into the vending machine. “Ajusshi, you took the last one?” She turned her little head and tilted it, giving Jaehyun a curious glance at a weird angle.

Jaehyun chuckled, not a lot of children that he had met at the hospital were this inquisitive, especially not to those clad in their white gowns. “The square toast?” He pointed to the rack in the vending machine which was now empty after he bought the last one. The little girl nodded enthusiastically, “Yeah, the square toast! It’s my favourite.” Jaehyun couldn’t help but reach over and give her a little pat on the head, “I’ll give you mine when it’s done then.”

The little girl pouted and shook her head, “That way Ajusshi will not get his toast.” She looked down and twirled her thumbs over one another. “It’s alright, I’ll just get something else. I like all kinds of bread.” Jaehyun reassured her with that smile of his. He had to give up his favourite toast, but nothing made him happier than being able to place a smile on children’s faces. The girl shook her head as she frowned, “Ajusshi, you’re lying, aren’t you? You don’t like all kinds of bread.”

Jaehyun raised his eyebrow, now she really piqued his curiosity. It was true though, that Jaehyun didn’t really like the rest of the toast the vending machine had to offer, only that one square toast. But he wasn’t sure how a girl looking barely 5 would know that. He scratched the back of his neck and let out an awkward chuckle, “A-Ah... I got caught...” The little girl turned to face him, tilting her head up, "It's okay ajusshi, you shouldn't lie, but I'll keep that a secret." Jaehyun was amazed at how eloquent this little girl was, she didn't speak like children her age would, constantly surprising Jaehyun with her unique antics. "Thank you, I'll share my toast with you, as a thank you gift. Could you accept that?" Jaehyun pushed the flap inwards and picked up the hot toast. He split the toast into two in a swift motion and offered one half to the little girl. "Now we will both have some." Jaehyun smiled so wide his cheeks hurt a little, his heart feeling warmer than the toast as he saw how her face lit up.

He wondered why she was in the hospital, and had hoped that it wasn't a big deal, and that she wasn't in pain.

-

Jaehyun let out an occasional chuckle as he walked back to his office, the little girl still on his mind. He thought about how she was so excited about the toast, and even gave him a pinky promise that she wouldn't tell anyone about his 'lie'. This was also one reason why he loved children, and chose a profession that allowed him to interact with them. They were always so innocent and precious, and Jaehyun thought that adults actually have a lot to learn from them. There are just some values and traits that shouldn't be lost as one grows up.

"Dr Bong, you have two appointments in the morning, Choi Dongchan and Kim Sowon." The nurse peeked into his office, smiling as she saw him munching away on his toast happily. He nodded and rolled up his sleeves, ready to start the day, "Thank you Nurse Kang, have a great day ahead."

-

Jaehyun's first patient of the day was a returning patient, the boy had broken his arm a few months back, and was back to remove his cast. "You shouldn't run around like that anymore, Dongchan." The boy's mother chided, looking upon her son with a pained gaze, she must have hurt as much as he did. Jaehyun let out a small chuckle as he shook his head, "Mrs Choi, he's still a young boy, there's no way he won't run around anymore, right, Dongchan?" He ruffled the boy's head affectionately, to which he responded with an enthusiastic nod. "But could you promise mommy and Dr Bong that you'll be more careful next time? You're a really strong boy, so Dr Bong wouldn't want to see you get hurt again, is that okay?" Jaehyun spoke in a tone that was softer this time.

Of course, the boy nodded again and his eyes sparkled with excitement, knowing that soon he would be able to join his friends as they played during the winter holidays. "You'll have to bring Dongchan back for another follow-up 6 months later, is that okay?" Mrs Choi extended her arm towards Jaehyun, who took it with a smile. "Thank you so much, Dr Bong, you're really such a capable person. Thank you for taking good care of my son." Jaehyun shook his head, "I didn't do much, it was because Dongchan is such a strong and smart boy, he was able to recover quickly on his own right?"

Dongchan beamed as he tilted his head upwards in pride, "Of course!" Both Jaehyun and Dongchan's mother burst out in fits of laughter, happy that the boy has regain his past youthful nature. Before the mother and son left Jaehyun's room, Dongchan's mother looked at him earnestly, "Dr Bong, are you married? Do you have a girlfriend?" Jaehyun was genuinely taken aback by the sudden probe into his private life, he cleared his throat as heat rose to his cheeks, this wasn't the first time someone at the hospital asked him that, "E-Erm... no..." He didn't really want to explain how he wasn't interested in people of the opposite gender, that would've raised more questions than he could answer.

"Should I introduce someone to you? You're so young and capable, definitely the people who would want to date you would be lining up all the way till outside of this hospital." Mrs Choi continued, seemingly not getting the hint from Jaehyun. "A-Ah, it's alright... I'm not interested in dating now." He smiled, hoping she'd get it this time. Jaehyun heaved a sigh of relief as she nodded and left after saying goodbye. He didn't like it when people probed into his private life, and especially not when they asked if he needed them to set him up on a date. Jaehyun believed that the time would come when it should, and that romance would knock on his door when the time was right.

And at that moment, the knock came.

-

"Kim Sowon?" Jaehyun looked up from his patient records, to find a familiar looking face. "Oh, it's Square Toast ajusshi!" The little girl pointed at him and noted, while Jaehyun's mouth formed an 'O' shape. "It's you, little girl!" Jaehyun turned a little to the right and finally noticed the girl's father. He looked young, probably around Jaehyun's age too, his big almond eyes sparkled, instantly captivating Jaehyun's attention. His smile was beautiful, Jaehyun noticed, his hair combed to the back, revealing his forehead, and Jaehyun thought he was probably one of the most handsome people he had ever met.

Sowon's father cleared his throat and Jaehyun turned crimson as he realised he was probably caught staring inappropriately. "Ah, s-sorry. Nice to meet you, I'm Dr Bong Jaehyun." Jaehyun stood on his feet and extended his hand towards the handsome man. "Nice to meet you, I'm Sowon's father, Kim Jibeom." Jaehyun was still mesmerized by the man's eyes, without realising he had be holding on to his hand for a little too long. "Square Toast ajusshi, why are you staring at my daddy like this?" Sowon tilted her head to the side as she asked, genuinely curious. By then, Jaehyun was already as red as a cherry tomato, his palms turned clammy as he wiped them on his coat. The corners of Jibeom's lips turned up for a brief second, but it didn't go unnoticed by Jaehyun, was that a smirk? Jaehyun hoped he hadn't embarrassed himself too much.

"S-So...Sowonie, what are you here today for?" Jaehyun flipped through her patient records, she was new here, he could tell as her records were still warm as they were freshly printed. "Polycystic Kidney Disease? It's hereditary..." Jaehyun slowly moved his attention from the papers to Jibeom, who had his lips pressed into a thin line. "Her birth parents, yes." Jaehyun felt a little apologetic, not knowing if he had probed too much, but then again, it wasn't like he was being unprofessional. Jaehyun nodded, acknowledging his reply, "You're waiting for a kidney transplant then?"

"They told us to wait, and wait, and wait, but it has already been months and her condition isn't improving. We're here to seek alternative treatment." Jibeom explained, worry evident in his gaze. Jaehyun understood his worry and desperation, like every other parent, Jibeom only wanted the best for his daughter. "We will all do our best for her. Sowonie, you'll do your best too right? Could you promise ajusshi that you'll be a strong girl for daddy?” Jaehyun reached over to pat her lightly on her head. The little girl nodded, her large eyes clearly resembling her father’s.

After Jaehyun explained Sowon’s condition in further detail, he ended the consultation session by giving Sowon a candy and a small bread plushie. “This is ajusshi’s favourite, but since I have two, I’ll give one to Sowon alright? We’ll share!” Sowon beamed proudly, understanding his connotations, “Sure, ajusshi.”

Jibeom guided his daughter out of the room, but before he left, he turned around and gave Jaehyun a wink. “See You again, Dr Bong!” Jaehyun’s jaw fell open as he tried to process what just happened, that was too weird, was he trying to flirt? Thinking about it made Jaehyun feel uncomfortable all over, surely Jibeom was already married, or at the very least he would have had another half, he shouldn’t be doing this.

But yet for the entire day, Jaehyun couldn’t shake off the fact that he liked the wink, he liked it a little too much.


	2. Chapter 2

Jibeom occasionally popped up in Jaehyun’s mind, at weird timings, in unusual situations like when he was just alone at home reading a book, or when he was having lunch with his colleagues. Jaehyun grew afraid, he had only met the guy once and yet he already had a lingering presence that seemed to stick too close for comfort to Jaehyun. Jaehyun broke out in fits of tiny giggles as he remembered how Sowon stared at him with her huge captivating eyes, and called him out for staring at her father, _what a cheeky girl_. Jaehyun cleared his throat and went back to his meal as he caught his colleagues raising their brows at him, all wondering if something had happened the previous week, triggering such a peculiar behavior. Jaehyun was cheerful, but never _this_ cheerful.

"You only have one appointment in the afternoon, Dr Bong, it's Kim Sowon." His nurse read off his schedule, leaving after a slight smile. The corners of Jaehyun's mouth turned up in a smile so bright his cheeks started to hurt a little, he had only met them once but he felt an undeniable excitement at the thought of meeting them again. _But he has a kid... he's probably married, or at least has someone he loves..._ a voice in Jaehyun's mind reminded, draining the color from Jaehyun's face immediately. "What the hell are you thinking about, Bong Jaehyun?" He chided, how could he have such thoughts. "Sowon's a fun kid, I was looking forward to meeting her." Jaehyun mumbled under his breath. Jaehyun often had conversations with himself when he was alone, he thought it was a better way to struggle with his 'other' self upfront, than just have petty conversations in his mind.

 _You like her father, don't you?_ "I do not!" Jaehyun yelled a little too loudly, shocking even himself, "He's a dad already, there's nothing for me to think about. Bong Jaehyun, you're a professional! You know better than to date your patient." _But he isn't your patient._ "It's the same thing! Ugh!" Jaehyun combed his hand through his hair in frustration, immediately regretting messing it up, as he grabbed the mirror on his desk. He tilted it at different angles and arranged the loose strands to make sure that he looked presentable. Jaehyun placed his hand below his chin, so that it rested between his thumb and index finger, "You look good today!" Jaehyun had many quirks, that no one knew of. Well, maybe now Sowon did.

"Square Toast ajusshi! You're right, you look good today!" Sowon's cheerful voice shattered Jaehyun's time alone, he slammed his mirror down so quick he had to pick it up again to make sure he hadn't cracked it. "S-Sowon!" Heat crept up Jaehyun's cheeks, coloring them with a pink hue, he bit his lip in reflex, "You heard that?" Jaehyun prayed she was the only one who did, he can't imagine embarrassing himself in front of anyone else. His fingertips felt numb and cold as Jibeom walked through the door behind Sowon, "Dr Bong, you do look good today, no worries!" Jaehyun wished he could either turn invisible then or at least find a hole to crawl in and bury himself, drowning out all the embarrassment. Jaehyun took a deep breath and shook his head, he had to hold on to the last figment of pride he had left, "Ah, I was just acting out a part of a drama I watched last night." Jaehyun hated himself at that moment, maybe he should just shut up.

Jibeom gave Jaehyun a knowing glance and a subtle smirk, "Yeah, but still you look good today." Jaehyun could say the same for Jibeom, whose charisma eluded perfectly well even though he was clad in casual clothes. Jibeom had his fringe gelled up today, his long eyelashes framing his large eyes prettily, Jaehyun felt that he would probably drown in them if he stared long enough. He wouldn't make the same mistake this time again, looking away before Jibeom's smart daughter catches him in the act again. "Sowonie, how are you today?" Jaehyun turned his chair so he faced Sowon, leaning forward a little so he could reach her height.

Her smile gradually slipped away, replaced by a frown and pout, “Sowonie isn’t feeling really good, Square Toast ajusshi... I can’t go to the toilet when I want to anymore, and it hurts here.” Sowon brought her hand towards her abdomen. Jibeom’s cheerful self seemed to have dissipated, his eyebrows furrowed in the middle, creases of worry formed. Jaehyun could only imagine what Jibeom was going through, which was why at times he found his job to be morbid and hated it, it really was unfair that good people had to suffer, often drowning in helplessness.

After guiding Sowon to pinpoint the exact location the pain was coming from, Jaehyun scribbled on a form in his illegible handwriting. He handed it to Jibeom with two hands, “Bring this to the nurse outside, she’ll bring you guys to get Sowon’s blood drawn. It seems like she might have gotten an infection. We’ll look at the results of her blood test before deciding whether she would need further treatment and hospitalisation.” Jibeom took the paper over with a grim nod. Jibeom ruffled his daughter’s hair as he passed her the form, “Baby girl, will you pass this to the nurse outside? Daddy will join you soon, I have some things to talk to Dr Bong about.” His eyes were so full of affection, he looked at Sowon like she was his whole world, and Jaehyun thought she probably was.

The little girl nodded and beamed, giving her father a thumbs up, “Sowonie can do it alone, I’m a big girl now!”

-

“So what did you want to talk about?” Jaehyun tidied his desk and clasped his hands together in front of him, looking at Jibeom, eyes overflowing with sincerity. “Is my baby girl going to be okay? Will she still be in pain?” Jaehyun had realised that Jibeom kept his head down for awhile before, and he understood why now. Jibeom’s eyes were brimming with tears, threatening to fall any moment. He tried his best to hold them in, knowing the waterfalls wouldn’t stop if they started. “She’s in good hands.” Jaehyun promised, it wasn’t giving Jibeom false hope, but it did do its job of reassuring Jibeom.

“Ah this is embarrassing,” Jibeom tilted his head backwards, hoping the tears would roll right back in, “I shouldn’t be crying in front of someone I’m trying to impress.” Jaehyun’s eyes widened, his oxygen supply seemed to be cut off when he barely choked out, “W-What?” Jibeom smirked, Jaehyun’s pinkish glow on his cheeks giving away the fact that he had heard him loud and clear, “Nothing.”

Jaehyun felt a tingle in his fingertips, a weird jolt in his heart set his mind on fire. He was sure this was wrong, Jibeom shouldn’t be flirting with him under broad daylight, not when he had a kid and was probably emotionally unavailable. Jaehyun wouldn’t want to come between two people in love, he’d never allow himself to do that despite feeling the pull towards Jibeom get stronger as the minutes passed. “Has anyone told you that you’re so cute when you blush like that?” Jibeom shot Jaehyun a wink, causing the latter to bite the insides of his cheeks hard, forcefully stopping himself from smiling too widely. “Y-Yes...” Jaehyun lied, he himself not really sure why he did anyways.

Jibeom pouted and Jaehyun cursed under his breath, saying something about it not being fair that a grown man was being so damn cute. He would reach over and pinch Jibeom’s cheeks if he could, he clasped his hands tightly under the table, in efforts to stop any impulsive decisions. “I-I think you should go soon, Mr Kim, I have a patient scheduled soon.” Jaehyun lied again through gritted teeth, hoping that all this emotional distress would be gone once Jibeom leaves. It was too frustrating to watch Jibeom seduce him with a single bat of the eyelids, but having to hold himself back, abiding by the last strand of morals he had left.

Jibeom got up on his feet and pushed the chair under the table, throwing a bright smile in Jaehyun’s direction before making his exit. Once alone in the room, Jaehyun stood up, all emotions washed from his face, which was turning a little blue from holding his breath. He walked over to the bed in the corner of his room and collapse on it, finally taking a deep breath against the pillow. Jaehyun couldn’t believe that the sound that came out of him sounded like a squeal, a joyful glee, a shout of pent up excitement. He was holding all that back when Jibeom was sitting right in front of him, while he picked at his nails till they bled a little. _How can someone be so cute and good looking at the same time? How can someone like that exist?_ Jaehyun thought maybe he was sick, he shouldn’t be alright, with his heart beating so insanely fast.

He doesn’t remember the last time he felt that happy, just by looking at someone. He felt uneasy whenever Jibeom openly flirted with him like that, surely it wasn’t right, was Jibeom cheating on his other half? Was Jaehyun going to be just a fling? Those thoughts ran through his mind in waves, but one pressing issue irked him the most. Not being able to pinpoint what exactly made him so attracted to Jibeom, Jaehyun sighed, _what am I supposed to do now?_

 


	3. Chapter 3

Jaehyun was having a rather bad day, everything seemed to be working against him, and to add on to that, he barely had 2 hours of sleep. It was so cold the previous night, he had trouble falling asleep while shivering under the thick blanket that still failed to keep him warm.

 

He gave a grim nod to the nurses he met along the corridor, some showing signs of being surprised at his unusual gloominess. “Jaehyun, feeling a little down today?” Jaeseok handed him an iced americano as he sat beside a blanked-out Jaehyun in the cafeteria. The latter nodded in acknowledgement of his colleague and friend, “It’s so cold today, I hate the cold. Plus there’s a kid in the ward that refuses to eat, no matter what the nurses told her, she just refuses to listen.” 

 

Jaeseok raised at eyebrow as he sipped on his drink, “Even you? The Bong Jaehyun? Wow I have to meet her then, I’ve never met a kid that didn’t fall for your charms.” Jaehyun sighed and leaned back against the chair, shoulders drooping, “Hyung, stop teasing me... Help me think of a solution, she listens to no one, not even me!” Jaehyun wondered if he’d landed in a slump, it was hard to do your job well if your patients weren’t cooperative. "Woah, you seem really riled up, are you sure this is the only thing bothering you?" Jaeseok probed a little more, hoping that Jaehyun could find some comfort in ranting to someone. 

 

"There's this guy too... I'm not sure about it, but I think he probably has a family already... His daughter is my patient... I'm not sure what to do about it." Jaehyun buried his face in his hands and sighed. 

 

Jaeseok chuckled as he patted Jaehyun on the back, “It'll be fine, you’ll find a way, I’m sure you will. Get to know him, maybe things aren't as simple as it seems, figure it out as you go. See you during lunch!”

 

-

 

Jaehyun took careful steps towards the ward, dreading what was to come. Upon entering the ward, he stopped short on his tracks as he saw Jibeom sitting by the side of the child that was throwing a tantrum just earlier that morning. What truly caught Jaehyun by surprise was the fact that the child was digging into her breakfast, like it was a delicious feast she couldn't wait to devour. "

 

"Sowon's father?" Jaehyun called out, trying his best to recall if he had an appointment scheduled with Sowon today. "Oh, Dr Bong!" Jibeom flashed his smile that could even melt a heart of steel, much less Jaehyun's soft unprotected heart. Jaehyun found himself smiling back, before he could stop himself, "W-Why are you here today? I don't remember Sowon having an appointment with me today?" Jaehyun hoped, despite the better of himself, that maybe Jibeom was there to see him. Could it be? He struggled with himself since the first time he met Jibeom, knowing he shouldn't feel the way he does, but still doing so anyways. Jaehyun knew he wouldn't forgive himself if he turned out to be a home-wrecker, which was why he chose to remain in the grey area, a vague space, he felt safe from himself. 

 

"Ah, Sowonie complained about some abdominal pains in the morning, I brought her in to have a scan, hopefully it's nothing big." Jaehyun admired Jibeom's strength, it must've been hard on him too, but he never lost his beautiful smile. "This young lady right here reminds me of Sowon, it's always hard to get her to eat, but telling them that in order to stay healthy, finishing their meals is important, always works wonders." Jibeom chuckled as he gave the little girl a pat on her head. She beamed at him and turned to Jaehyun, sticking out her tongue playfully, earning a cute pout from the doctor. "You have to listen to the cute doctors around here alright? Especially him! Dr Bong will make sure you can go home as soon as possible." Jibeom pointed towards Jaehyun, who felt his whole body suddenly turn warm, the heat rising to his ears. 

 

The little girl nodded and went back to her food, as Jaehyun continued to stare at Jibeom, almost burning a hole through him. Jibeom stood up and made his way towards Jaehyun, who was as stiff as a tree branch, "Could we grab lunch together?" Jaehyun hated how he agreed within a matter of seconds, not even wasting any time to contemplate. He apologized to Jaeseok in his mind, surely Jaeseok wouldn't mind, right? "I'll go grab something from my office first, I'll meet you at the lobby?" Jaehyun combed his fingers through his hair, and eliciting a deep sigh from Jibeom, wondering how it was possible for someone to look so handsome and cute at the same time. 

 

-

 

"Milk?" Jibeom offered a small carton of milk with his arm extended towards Jaehyun when they both settled down in the cozy corner of the cafeteria. Jaehyun gulped, he hated the thing, but there was no way he could say no to the guy delivering the milk. "S-Sure." Jaehyun stuttered as he received the milk from Jibeom, fingertips tingling as they grazed past the latter's. Jibeom smiled to himself, as if catching on to Jaehyun's little reactions that gave him away so easily. "Thank you for giving me the chance to buy you lunch." Jibeom tore open his carton of milk, sipping away immediately after. Jaehyun waved him off, his cheeks turning crimson again, "I should be the one thanking you, Sowon's father." 

 

Jibeom raised his eyebrow, a little annoyed by the politeness Jaehyun was exhibiting. He thought he had already made it rather clear it wanted them to be on friendlier terms, "You can call me Jibeom, just drop the honorifics, I'm sure we're around the same age." Jaehyun pursed his lips, seemingly deep in thought, he probably shouldn't be having a meal with someone that had a family. It would've been fine if Jaehyun didn't feel anything in particular for Jibeom, but the problem is, he did. It was hard to explain the certain pull he felt towards Jibeom, not being sure where it stemmed from scared Jaehyun, it meant that there was no way he could get rid of those feelings that only got stronger by the day. "Jaehyun?" Jibeom waved his hand in front of Jaehyun's face, snapping him out of his own trance. Jaehyun never loved his name more than when Jibeom called it. And he never dreaded hearing it as much as when Jaeseok called it out. 

 

"Jaehyun! Is this the guy you told me about? The one that confused you so much, and the one with a family?" Jaeseok giggled and smiled affectionately as he stopped beside Jaehyun and Jibeom's table, with a tray full of food in his hands. Jaehyun threw him a deadly glare, wishing he would just disappear, "Hyung! S-Shut up!" If Jaeseok had a free hand, he definitely would have ruffled Jaehyun's hair and told him he had a good eye, but a wink had sufficed. Jibeom looked at Jaeseok, his words piquing his curiosity, "Jaehyun? This is...?" Jaehyun cleared his throat as he gestured towards Jaeseok politely, "A friend, and a colleague, Park Jaeseok. Just ignore what he said, he probable hasn't had much sleep." He used his gaze as a signal for Jaeseok to leave, to which he happily played along, "Seems like Jaehyun doesn't want me to intrude in this... date? I'll get going first. Take care of my little brother!" Jaeseok shot Jibeom a knowing glance before leaving towards his own table. 

 

"J-Just ignore what he said okay, he got the wrong person." Jaehyun's hands trembled as he cut into his steak. Jibeom chuckled and shook his head, amused by Jaehyun's reaction, "I didn't say anything. But now you're making me curious. So you have a guy you're interested in?" Jaehyun dropped his fork, the sound of metal against porcelain resonating throughout the entire cafeteria, all heads turning towards them, "I d-don't... Ugh Park Jaeseok..." Jaehyun bowed his head a little, wishing people would look away. It was more embarrassing that his colleagues were all present, now they definitely wouldn't let him have another peaceful day. 

 

"Aw, it would've been nice if you said you did."

 

"Why?"

 

"Then maybe I'd stand a chance."

 


	4. Chapter 4

Jaehyun is more than slightly disturbed by the fact that despite being busy the entire day, Jibeom and Sowon had failed to leave his mind. He constantly worried for the little girl, hoping that she would get better soon, he worries came from a place that exceeded that of a doctor's. His thoughts were, however, mainly occupied by the girl's father, and their conversation over lunch. Jaehyun had blamed Jaeseok, for bringing up the topic they went over during breakfast, making things slightly awkward for Jaehyun. But Jaehyun was also thankful, Jibeom had said things that were vague, leaving Jaehyun plenty of space to assume, and where his mind couldn't believe, his heart hoped. 

 

As soon as the nurse announced that Jaehyun had no more scheduled patients that day, he put on his coat and checked his hair in the mirror, before heading out with a spring in his step. He passed the familiar corridors on the way to Sowon's ward, but something made them look a little more inviting than usual, did they repaint them? Jaehyun shrugged as he continued. Just like the first few times they met, meeting Jibeom always did something to Jaehyun. The muscles in his jaw clenched, the tingly senses returned to his fingers and his palm turned clammy, he was undoubtedly nervous. 

 

Sowon’s eyes lit up when she saw Jaehyun coming round from the corner, she raised her arm, albeit weakly, to wave at him. “Square Toast Ajusshi!” Jaehyun was glad to see that she was her usual cheerful smile, he admired her for being so strong, not everyone, even grown ups, could’ve done it. “Oh, Jaehyun, you’re here.” Jibeom noted that he wasn’t clad in his white lab coat, so it wasn’t a formal visit, much to his delight.

 

“Ah Sowon’s-” Jaehyun stopped himself as Jibeom raised his eyebrow, “J-Jibeom...” The name sounded weirdly exciting in Jaehyun’s tongue, a thrill down his spine. “I wanted to check on Sowon before I headed home.” Jaehyun flipped through the charts as he nodded softly, “She’ll be able be discharged in a couple of days, we’re keeping her here to make sure the infection is a hundred percent cleared.” 

 

“Ah, so this is a formal visit?” Jibeom made sure he sounded as disappointed as he could, ending the sentence with a low tone. “W-What?” It was easy to catch Jaehyun by surprised, and every time he did it, all Jibeom could do was to let out an amused chuckle. “I thought maybe you were here to see me? The guy you’re interested in?”

 

“I-I’m not!” By then, Jaehyun’s ears were red hot, his stomach clenching so tightly inside he thought he would just collapse any moment. “Oh, so you’re not interested?” Jibeom pouted and Jaehyun swore he’d be the end of him. “That’s not that I meant.” 

 

Jibeom caught that perfectly clear although it came out as a mumble, “That’s good, I’m glad you’re still interested.” Jaehyun definitely couldn’t beat Jibeom at talking and reasoning, so keeping quiet was his best bet at not placing himself in a more awkward situation. The doctor sighed, a little annoyed that Jibeom was flirting with him so openly, right in front of his daughter, to say the least. “I’ll get going. I’ll visit again tomorrow.”

 

“Want to grab dinner?” Jibeom offered, before Jaehyun could turn to leave. “Sowon has hers, but I’m still up for a dinner date!” Jaehyun wondered if Jibeom was aware that his daughter could hear their conversation perfectly fine, his every sentence clearly showed he held back every strand of reservation, if he had any. “Square Toast Ajusshi, take good care of my daddy. Sowon is sick so she can’t do it, but please take care of him!” She stared at the tall doctor with her large round eyes, cutting off any chance of Jaehyun rejecting Jibeom’s offer. 

 

“I’ll take care of him, so you rest well, alright?” Jaehyun took a step closer and combed the stray strands of hair away from Sowon’s face. The little girl grew on him in a short span of time, it hurt him to see her strapped to numerous beeping machines. 

—

 

The cup of hot cocoa that came in front of Jaehyun out of nowhere startled him, “I saw that you didn’t touch the milk at all in the afternoon...You don’t like it?” Jibeom was good at starting conversations, Jaehyun noted, and being the opposite, he was thankful. “Yeah, I don’t drink milk.” Jibeom pursed his lips, “You should’ve told me in the afternoon.” 

 

Jaehyun looked down at his food, eye contact with Jibeom at such close proximity was still unimaginable for Jaehyun, “I-It’s alright...I couldn’t say no when you offered.” 

 

“You’re really cute when you’re flustered like this.” 

 

“H-Hey... you shouldn’t be doing this right...? We shouldn’t be doing this?” Jaehyun set down his utensils as he lifted his head, looking at Jibeom straight in the face for the first time that night. “I can’t believe I’m saying this but...we’re both adults... and I don’t think we should be doing this.” 

 

The corner of Jibeom’s lips turned up into a smirk, finally he was getting something concrete out of Jaehyun. “Doing what?” He sure had the most fun whenever he teased Jaehyun. He inched his hand towards Jaehyun’s shivering one, while the latter recoiled as soon as they touched. “T-This!” Jaehyun squeaked, “This thing! With us! It’s just... every time I see you it just makes my heart rate jump tenfold and it’s just... I don’t know.” Jaehyun buried his face in his hands, hiding his mad blush. 

 

“Is ‘every time I see you it just makes my heart rate jump tenfold’ the medical terminology for ‘I like you’?” Jaehyun groaned at Jibeom’s never ending tease, he was trying his best to hold a serious conversation on where they stood, but ‘serious’ didn’t seem to be part of Jibeom’s dictionary. “It doesn’t matter how I feel, we shouldn’t be doing this... you already have a family, don’t you?” These thoughts have been suffocating Jaehyun for the past weeks and to finally let it out, somehow the weight on his shoulders seemed heavier than before. 

 

“Oh...” Jibeom’s face was instantly wiped of his earlier joy. “About Sowon’s other dad...” 

 

_So there was a guy._ Jaehyun waved him off quickly, “It’s alright, I don’t need to know about him.” Jaehyun hated how he sounded like a jealous teenager, refusing to listen to his boyfriend talk about his ex. They were fully grown adults, Jaehyun reminded himself time and time again to act like one. _Be mature_ , _rejection is normal, you’re not a kid anymore Jaehyun._  The voice in his head boomed. 

 

“Ah, no, I should tell you.” Jibeom insisted, as Jaehyun wondered maybe it would’ve been better if he had just kept it all boiled up within himself. He looked down at his half-eaten food, dreading what was to come next. He had mentally prepared himself to tell Jibeom that whatever he felt for him, might’ve just been mistaken as affection, when it was in fact purely adoration for his daughter. “He left. When we decided to adopt Sowon, he left shortly after.” 

 

_Ah._

Jaehyun shouldn’t feel _this_  relieved, but he couldn’t help the happiness from bubbling. It was evil, to seek joy from someone else’s sorrow, but he nibbled on his lower lip to stop himself from grinning like a mad man. “I’m sorry.” Jaehyun barely whispers. 

 

“No you’re not. You don’t look sorry at all.” Jaehyun’s wide eye caused Jibeom to burst into fits of laughter again, the atmosphere recovering from the previously stale and cold one. “I didn’t realise my availability was the thing that was bothering you the past weeks. I thought my skills were turning rusty, seeing how you were so unresponsive to my advances.” 

 

Jibeom took Jaehyun’s silence as a cue to continue speaking, “But now that you know, I guess you don’t have to look as guilty as someone who’ve just killed a man, whenever I say you’re cute.” 

 

Silence.

 

“How about you? You’re single?” 

 

Jaehyun nodded, his eyes shifted all over and landed everywhere but on Jibeom’s. 

 

“Then I guess we should change that.” 

—

 

Jaehyun walked Jibeom back to the ward, “Sowon should be asleep already. You’re staying with her?” 

 

Jibeom nodded, slotting his hands into his pocket. “She’ll look for me once she wakes up, I don’t want her to be alone.” 

 

Jaehyun nodded back, “But it’ll be uncomfortable, won’t it? There’s only one bed... Do you want to sleep in mine? I’ll be heading home anyways.” He only realises how that came out, when he actually said it. “A-Ah, I didn’t mean it that way. I meant you could just sleep in my bed because it might be uncomfortable in the ward and since I won’t be staying in tonight you could just sleep there. You know what I mean?” Jaehyun rambled on, he started twiddling his thumbs, a habit he had whenever he panicked. “You know what I meant right? Ah I should just shut up.” 

 

“I didn’t know we were moving so quickly.” Jibeom raised his eyebrow, his expression softened the next moment as he saw how concerned Jaehyun looked, “It’s alright, I’d like to be by her side. Anyways, it’s late, get going. I’ll see you tomorrow?” They stooped right in front of the ward before their goodbyes. 

 

“I’ll come visit. Rest well, J-Jibeom.” It still sounded a little weird calling him by his name, but Jaehyun liked that he was slowly getting used to it. 

 

“Bye Jaehyun. Oh, and keep that bed offer open, who knows I might need it in the future?” Jibeom winked before disappearing into the ward, leaving Jaehyun alone in the corridor, mouth wide open. 

 

_That,_ he was surely never going to get used to. 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Jaehyun spent the entire night shifting uncomfortably in bed, his mind clouded by a million thoughts, all of a single man. Perhaps under the conditioning from his job, Jaehyun has grown to be more emotionally attached than when he first started out as a doctor. If he had to be honest with himself, he wasn’t sure. About Jibeom, about what he felt for him, if it was real, if he wanted something more. And most importantly, he wasn’t sure how serious Jibeom was about him. Afterall, they’ve only known each other for short while, it sure felt like a dangerous and risky mistake to give your heart to an almost-stranger. 

 

His actions would come with complicated implications, and that scared him a little. Perhaps Jibeom was just teasing him, Jaehyun thought, there was no way Jibeom could really fancy him. Jaehyun was as interesting as a wooden block, he hadn’t had a chance to show off his charms at work either. He shut his eyes and pushed his thoughts of Jibeom to the back of his mind, passing off his continuous flirtation as merely an act out of boredom. 

 

Go to sleep, Jaehyun. Stop falling deeper while you can still catch yourself.

—

 

Jaehyun raised his eyebrow at the cup of cocoa and squaretoast hung on his doorknob. It came as a surprise, when Jaehyun’s mind first wondered to Jibeom. His heart thumping a little quicker than usual, could it really be from him? It was a sweet gesture, something Jaehyun really appreciated in the cold winter morning. 

 

He jumped a little as an arm slung across his shoulder, eyes widening and relaxing only when he realised it was just Jaeseok. 

 

“Do you like it?” Jaeseok pointed his chin towards the food. Jaehyun felt apologetic as his heart sank in disappointment. It was definitely unintentional, as his hopeful smile slowly faded, replaced by a slightly forced one, “It’s from you? T-Thanks... I guess...” 

 

Jaeseok frowned, “What the hell? You didn’t have to make it so obvious you’re disappinted it’s not from your new boyfriend!” That word threw Jaehyun off guard, his cheeks turning redder by the second as he stuttered, “H-He’s not my b-boy...Ugh, he’s just a friend!” 

 

“I know it when you lie.” Jaeseok rolled his eye, sighing, “I saw him leave this here in the morning. Happy now?” He pursed his lips and crossed his arm. Jaehyun’s lips turned up into a smile so wide, his cheeks were bound to hurt after awhile, “He didn’t have to go through so much trouble...” 

 

“Ugh the stench of love.” Jaeseok groaned as he waved his hand in the air, dispersing the “stench”. 

—

 

“Did you enjoy your breakfast?” A familiar voice caught Jaehyun’s attention, as he turned around to come face to face with Jibeom. How could he look so handsome, Jaehyun wondered, how was it humanely possible? Jaehyun bit the insides of his cheeks to stop himself from smiling like the biggest idiot, “O-Oh... it was from you?” Lying through gritted teeth was still a chore for Jaehyun, “I didn’t know that...” 

 

Jibeom pouted, subjecting Jaehyun to a kind of mental torture that was so excruciating, yet Jaehyun thought if that’s the way he would leave the world, he’d be thankful. “I’m sure I told your friend Jaeseok to tell you...” 

 

Jaehyun’s eyes darted around nervously, his palms getting clammy, “Don’t do that ever again.” 

 

“Do what?” Jibeom cocked his head to the side, staring at Jaehyun with his big doe eyes, biting his lip subconsciously. The mischief that sparkled in his eye clearly showed he knew the effect he had on Jaehyun, and was just playing dumb. 

 

Jaehyun steadied his breath and opened his mouth to speak but a tiny voice cut him off, “Square Toast Ajusshi, if you kiss daddy, he’ll stop pouting! That’s what I do all the time when daddy gets sad.” Jaehyun looked down as Sowon’s small figure popped out from behind Jibeom. “K-Kiss?!?” Jaehyun said it as though it was the first time he came across the word. 

 

Sowon nodded innocently, her eyes as large and sparkly as her father’s, “That’s right. Square Toast Ajusshi, do you know what that is? Have you done it before? Daddy can teach you if you want, right daddy?” 

 

By then, Jaehyun was so red and speechless he just wanted to bury himself right there and then. “Yeah, Jaehyun, I can teach you.” Jibeom wriggled his eyebrow as he hi-fived Sowon, seemingly proud of his daughter. 

 

This pair of father and daughter would be the death of Jaehyun, he thought. “I can do it...” he mumbled under his breath, his words still caught by Jibeom, who wasn’t going to let it go. “Really? You could try it now?” He chuckled as he nudged Jaehyun playfully, causing the latter to blush even more, if that was still possible. 

 

Jaehyun was thankful when Jibeom finally changed the topic, after sensing his growing discomfort. “Maybe if you stop being so cute whenever I tease you, I’ll actually stop teasing you.” 

—

 

Jaehyun typed and deleted his messages countless times over, sometimes it was the sentence structure, sometimes he just thought whatever he was saying was overly corny. “H-Hi Jibeom, do you want to get dinner with me?” Jaehyun tried practising, facing the mirror and eyes following every single movement his reflection made. 

 

He scolded himself, “It’s not like you’re asking him to marry you and spend the rest of your lives together! It’s just a dinner! Ugh Bong Jaehyun, what’s wrong with you?” Jaehyun let out an exasperated sigh as he plopped onto his chair and let his head fall back. This was precisely the reason why Jaehyun had thought sending a message would be better, but it seemed as though his language skills had decided to fail him then too. 

 

While he was still groaning about his apparent failure, his phone vibrated and lit up with a new message received. 

 

_Dinner?_

How easy must it have been? Jaehyun was thankful that Jibeom could initiate things like these without pulling all his hair out, but at the same time, he was immensely jealous. _One day_ , Jaehyun thought, _I’ll be brave like that one day._

_See you._

It was another date set that sent Jaehyun’s heart beating twice as fast. 

—

 

Dinner went well as usual, with Jibeom cracking his jokes, jokes that weren’t as funny as he thought they were. But Jaehyun laughed along, mostly because of how proud Jibeom looked whenever he managed to make Jaehyun smile. 

 

The both of them really complemented each other. Jibeom really liked what they had now. He had someone to talk to, someone to flirt with, maybe he wasn’t ready for something serious yet, but the thought of a new relationship made him look forward to seeing the next day. 

 

Jaehyun liked it too. Something new apart from his boring old life, something out of his routines. They both hoped nothing would change.

 

But sometimes change was the only constant. 

—

 

Jaehyun and Jibeom had a cup of warm cocoa and milk respectively in their hands as they sat on the bench at the park on hospital grounds. The kids that walked past them waved to Jaehyun, and so did their mothers. No one could walk past someone as handsome as Jaehyun without staring for a second more. 

 

“Jaehyun.” 

 

Jaehyun turned to face Jibeom’s wide eyes, noticing that his gaze turned serious, which was unlike Jibeom’s normal self. “What’s wrong?” Uneasiness rose in his chest.

 

“I recently heard something.” 

 

It was as though Jibeom was purposely setting the mood, making things slower than they were supposed to be. 

 

“Y-Yeah?” It came out almost as a whisper from Jaehyun.

 

“My hand is used as a measurement. Someone said that if anyone’s hand is bigger than mine, there’s a high chance they’ll get an incurable disease.” Jibeom turned his hand, palm facing up, towards Jaehyun. It looked a litle rough with calluses, but so ever-inviting.

 

Jaehyun rolled his eyes, what had he expected from Jibeom? “That’s not scientifically logical at all.” 

 

“Let’s measure, I just want to be sure you’re not going to die soon.” Jibeom pouted as he stretched his hand further towards Jaehyun. “Please?”

 

Of course. Jibeom’s triumph card. His pout.

 

Jaehyun sighed and shook his head, “It’s really not logical...” He still took his other hand out from his pocket, despite his words. “Where did you even hear such nonsense from...” 

 

“Come on.” A smile crept up Jibeom’s face as Jaehyun reluctantly placed his hand on Jibeom’s, squinting at the almost negligible difference between the sizes of their hands. 

 

Jibeom chuckled and shifted his hand in an instant, intertwining their fingers and placing their hands in the pocket of his coat. “There. You’re so gullible, I’m not sure if it’s a good thing of not. But I’m glad I showed you this so you won’t fall for it when other guys try to trick you.” 

 

Jaehyun was thankful it was dark and his mad blush would go off unnoticed by Jibeom. His hand felt warm, softer than it looked, something Jaehyun would never want to let go off. 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Jaehyun really liked the days that followed. Sowon was schedule for an organ transplant surgery in a few days and Jibeom's mood was clearly better because of that. Jaehyun went along with the flow, never questioning Jibeom's intentions or feelings towards him, mostly because Jaehyun was secretly afraid of the truth. He didn't want things to go southwards like they did in the dramas Jaehyun binge-watched, when one of the leads decided to clarify their relationship status. 

 

Jaehyun's nights were all spent with Jibeom and Sowon. Sometimes they brought her to the mall opposite the hospital to get her favourite snack, sometimes they just bought all her favourite food and had a party in the ward. Jibeom made Jaehyun laugh more times in the weeks they've known each other than Jaehyun had probably laughed for all the years since he was born. Jibeom's jokes were painfully lame, but the way he carried himself always made Jaehyun throw his head back in laughter. 

 

Jaehyun also appreciated the times when Jibeom ordered his food for him, already familiarised himself with the things Jaehyun liked and disliked. It was these small little efforts that made the butterflies in Jaehyun's stomach come to life. 

-

 

Jaehyun looked into the mirror, bringing his shirts against his chest, trying to find the best fit for his date. Jaehyun caught himself before he started giggling again, he reconsidered calling it a date, maybe it was just a friendly outing that Jibeom initiated. He scolded himself in his mind for getting ahead of himself, making assumptions even when Jibeom hasn't even specifically called their appointment a date. 

 

Either way, Jaehyun still couldn't keep still whenever he thought about meeting Jibeom in the evening. It wasn't like they haven't met in ages, in fact, they just had dinner together in Sowon's ward the night before, but this particular arrangement felt a little different. Jaehyun gelled his fringe up, exposing his forehead in full glory. He looked good, as he usually did. 

 

“C’mon, don’t be so nervous!” Jaehyun awkwardly encouraged his reflection in the mirror. He sighed in defeat as his heart continued pounding, as if threatening to escape. “It’s not like I’m meeting him for the first time...” He concluded that the reason why he was always so nervous around Jibeom, was the fact that he liked the guy a little too much. He liked everything about Jibeom, he liked him so much that he was constantly threading on thin ice around Jibeom, conscious of his every word and gesture. The uncertainty of Jibeom’s reaction to whatever he had to say, drove him crazy. 

 

He liked the way Jibeom was so sweet, the way Jibeom looked at him as though he was the only one that mattered, the way Jibeom smiles every now and then when Jaehyun told him about his day, as if he was really paying attention. Jaehyun's shoulder slumped and he hung his head low, he was in a grey area right now. He liked Jibeom too much to retreat, but the thought of a possible rejection stopped him from making a move. So there he was, stuck in the very same spot he found himself in weeks ago. 

-

 

Jaehyun spotted Jibeom waving at him as soon as he entered the cozy little family restaurant. The ceiling was a little low, Jaehyun had to bow his head a little as he walked towards the table Jibeom was seated at. "I'm not very late, am I? I'm not usually like this... I manage my time really well and I'm-" Jibeom cut Jaehyun off with a chuckle before the latter could continue rambling off. "Silly, it's fine, I didn't wait for a long time, and I definitely didn't mind waiting for someone who looks this good." Jibeom wiggled his eyebrow at the other boy, whose face was already burning up from the embarrassment. 

 

"I always bring Sowon here, it's her favourite place actually, mine too. The food here tastes like home." Jibeom flipped through the menu, although he already had his usual order in mind. "You should get the fried rice, it's the best here, other than the seafood stew, but you don't eat seafood right?" Jibeom reached over and pointed out the dish on the menu that Jaehyun was holding. Jaehyun's smile was painfully wide as he nodded, "Yeah, I'll get the fried rice then." 

 

Jibeom raised his hand to get the attention of the only waitress there, a rather elderly lady. "Oh, Jibeom! It's been some time since I saw you here, and who is this fine young gentleman?" The lady smiled adoringly at Jibeom, the wrinkles by the corners of her eyes a symbol of her age. Jibeom beamed proudly, "My friend, Jaehyun. He's a doctor who's currently taking care of Sowon, he's doing a really good job at it too." 

 

Jaehyun stopped hearing everything that came after the word friend. Ah, so that was what he was to Jibeom. Jaehyun would be lying if he said he didn't feel the pang of disappointment hitting his heart, it was like all the anticipation that built up over the weeks just dissolved in the matter of seconds. He should've guessed and known better that Jibeom wasn't serious about him, even with all the hand-holding, perhaps it held a different meaning to Jibeom as it did Jaehyun.  

 

Jaehyun's mind frequently wandered off from the conversations they had that night at the restaurant, and he only noticed it when Jibeom pointed out that he noticed Jaehyun had seemed rather distracted, "Hey, is something bothering you? You seem a little... off today?" Jibeom stared at him with his large bright eyes, brows furrowed out of concern. At this point Jaehyun knew he would be a big fat liar if he said he wasn't in love with the man that was sitting right across of him. 

 

It was hard to explain the kind of fascination Jaehyun felt whenever he was with Jibeom. 

-

 

"I'll walk you home." Jibeom combed his fingers through his hair. He looked handsome as usual today, Jaehyun noted, the tip of his nose turning a little pink as they spent more time out in the open on a December night.

 

It took Jaehyun awhile to notice that it was actually snowing. "Oh, it's snowing." Jaehyun wanted to punch himself in the face for always saying things like these, for cutting off any chance Jibeom had of continuing the conversation. "Ah, yes...Come to think of it, because of the times I spent in the hospital, this is actually the first snowfall I've witnessed this winter." Jibeom stretched his palm out, catching the snowflakes like a little boy. 

 

"Don't catch a cold." Jaehyun reached over and pulled Jibeom's hood over his head, making sure it was covering him well. The shorter boy pouted, protesting against such an act, "Hey, I'm not a little kid, I can take care of myself!" 

 

Jaehyun rolled his eye, "Well, I'm the doctor here. I'm supposed to take care of you." The way Jibeom stared at him prompted him to carry on rambling nervously, "And also my other patients, I take care of them too, not just you! I mean that it's my job to take care of people in general, not just you, you know? Because I'm a-"

 

Jibeom's lip felt soft and warm as he pressed them against Jaehyun's for the first time. Jaehyun stood, unmoving like a block of wood as Jibeom kissed him, his mind still unable to process all that was happening. As much as Jaehyun would have wanted to enjoy the moment, it didn't feel right, nothing about what was happening felt right. Jibeom couldn't just _kiss_  him like that after calling him a _friend_. You don't kiss your friends like that, do you?

 

Jibeom's eyes widened, obviously taken aback when Jaehyun pushed him away, a little harder than intended. "W-What's wrong? Did I do something wrong? I thought you wanted this too...?"

 

Jaehyun's mouth was still hanging open, his mind moving faster than he could express himself, "What are we, Jibeom? I didn't really want to ask this because I didn't want to jeopardise whatever we had going on, but... I don't know... I don't know where we're going with this, Jibeom. I know you're single, I know we flirted, but where are all these leading us to?"

 

This was perhaps the only time Jaehyun say Jibeom look so serious, other than when Sowon was hospitalised. He always had so much to say, but now he just seemed to be at a loss for words. "I-I like you a lot, I really like you a lot, Jibeom. You make me so so happy, you have no idea. But I need to know what we're doing right now... Because you can't just call me a _friend_  and then do _that_  to me! Sometimes you seem like you're just joking around with all the flirting but then sometimes you actually act like you might have feelings for me!" Jaehyun's face, as usual, was redder than Jibeom's nose in the cold. "I hope that didn't sound like some petty high school couple talk..." 

 

"I didn't know it meant so much to you. Calling you a friend just now? Was that why you seemed so bothered throughout dinner? You could've just told me!" Jibeom bit his lip to hide his widening smile.

 

"It's embarrassing..." Jaehyun shifted his legs awkwardly, while he stared at the ground. 

 

"I just... I like you a lot too, heck maybe I even love you. I just didn't want you to freak out and all if I called you my boyfriend just like that. And I don't know...I'm just not sure how I'm supposed to do this without scaring you off." Jibeom reached over cautiously and held Jaehyun's ice-cold hands. "All I know is that I really like you a lot." 

 

"W-We could give this a try...?" Jaehyun's meek voice came out as an almost-whisper. 

 

"Do you want to?"

 

In that moment they felt like two teenagers, reliving those days of awkward confessions and the excitement of new relationships. "We could... But you can't just kiss me out of nowhere like that! I swear I thought my heart was really about to stop just now." Jaehyun chided cutely, jabbing Jibeom lighting in the chest with a finger. 

 

Jibeom took a step towards Jaehyun, a cheeky smile lit up his face, "So, I have to ask for permission?" 

 

"W-What?" Jaehyun's eyes darted around, trying to focus on anything but Jibeom's lips, which looked so painfully inviting. 

 

"You said I can't just kiss you out of nowhere, so I'm asking for permission now. Can I kiss you?" Jibeom let go of the taller man's hands and gently snaked his arms around him. "I already know the answer though, of course I can." 


	7. Chapter 7

Jaehyun and Jibeom had thought that their escape plan was going well, all until they heard Sowon's high-pitched call for her father. "Daddy! Square Toast Ajusshi! Where are you guys going? Sowonie's room is on the other side!" 

 

The two men stopped in their tracks and turned around with sheepish smiles hung on their faces. Jaehyun was surprised to see Jaeseok with Sowon, but it seemed as though the latter was more surprised to watch Jaehyun and Jibeom exit Jaehyun's room in the early morning. Jaeseok dragged his feet after Sowon skipped her way towards her father and his new boyfriend. "You two...?" Jaeseok gestured towards Jaehyun's private room, "Jaehyun? An explanation?" 

 

Jaehyun could feel the heat creep up to his cheeks, his ears flushed red as he waved his hands, denying whatever Jaeseok was implying, "Hyung! It's not what you think! He just...He just stayed the night, that's all, nothing happened!" Jaeseok raised his eyebrow at the young doctor, obviously unconvinced, "Sure...Hope you slept well..." 

 

Sowon glanced between her father and the doctor, frowning in confusion, "You two slept together?" Jibeom's eyes were about to bulge out from their sockets as Sowon continued, "Why didn't you ask Sowonie along? Sowonie wants to sleep with daddy too..." She shuffled her feet as she turned her gaze to the floor, voice trailing off. Jibeom could hear it from her voice that she was pouting, a habit she got from her father. 

 

"Little girl, you'll probably have to start sharing your dad with someone else starting from now..." Jaeseok smirked at the two as he reached over to ruffle Sowon's hair. “Anyways, I’ll get going first. Jaehyun you still have lots to explain.” He waved goodbye before joining in on the conversation with a bunch of nurses who were walking by. 

 

Sowon crossed her arms, acting like she was deep in thought, weighing her options before she finally broke out into a huge smile, "Square Toast Ajusshi shared his toast with me, I guess I can share my daddy with him! Will Square Toast Ajusshi go home with us next time then?" Sowon tugged at Jibeom's pants, urging him to consider. 

 

"Hmm... That's a good question... Daddy hasn't asked yet, but do you think I should? That way we can get to spend more time together..." Jibeom gave his daughter a thumbs-up, complimenting her thoughtful suggestion. Jaehyun rolled his eyes, "Are you really going to talk about me as though I'm not just standing right here?" 

 

“Ajusshi, will you and daddy get married then? Because you already slept together, will you get married to daddy? Will you stay with us?” The three grown ups stared at the little girl, neither one of them knew how to answer her. “Kiddo, daddy is supposed to do the proposing, you can’t beat me to that! But it isn’t time yet, maybe in the future, we’ll talk more about this alright?” Jibeom chided playfully as he pinched her cheek, “But you can’t wait too long, Daddy! Square Toast Ajusshi is so handsome and other handsome doctors always smile at him too. If daddy waits for too long, he might run away with someone else! Grandpa always says we have to hold on tightly to the people we love, right?” 

 

Jibeom’s train of thought was disrupted when he heard the revelation from Sowon, “So, there are other handsome doctors who have been smiling at you huh? You must be having fun working here huh? Seems like you could do well without me too?” Jibeom crossed his arm in front of his chest, his eyebrow slightly raised, baiting Jaehyun to defend himself. “T-That’s not true!” Jaehyun’s stutter betrayed him.

 

“Ajusshi, you can’t lie! I saw one handsome doctor smile at you last week, and you smiled back! Are you lying because you’re afraid daddy will get angry? It’s okay, daddy is a good man, he will understand, right daddy?” Sowon beamed at her father, who had his gaze fixated upon Jaehyun. “I’m not sure... But thank you my little spy, for letting me know...” 

 

Sowon stood proudly, having no idea that she had just landed Jaehyun in hot soup. “The other handsome doctor also had his arm around Ajusshi, just like what daddy did the other day!” Jaehyun swore the little girl could just be his archilles’ heel, constantly raining attacks on him, Jaehyun could feel the glare from Jibeom piercing through his very soul. Sowonie... Did Ajusshi do something wrong to you? Jaehyun was in a midst of a mental breakdown, thinking of a million ways to salvage his relationship with Jibeom which was jeopardised by all the sudden exposing of his deeds. 

 

“In my defence... that all happened before we officially started dating...” Jaehyun hung his head low, sticking his clammy palms into the pockets of his coat. Jibeom seemed to be considering the validity of the argument, almost giving Jaehyun the benefit of the doubt, but all hopes of that came crashing down when Sowon dropped the final bomb, “That’s not true! Just yesterday, Sowonie saw the same handsome doctor with his arm around Ajusshi! For a long time! And Ajusshi looked really happy too!” 

 

Jaehyun knew he would probably be dead, if he wasn’t already. “Anything else to say? Liar.” Jibeom’s gaze was unreadable as the rest of his expression and Jaehyun’s moment of silence just gave him the perfect opportunity to storm off with his daughter in his hand. “Ji-” Jaehyun tried to hold him back but by the time his mouth started working again, Jibeom had already disappeared behind the corner. 

 

Jaehyun leaned against the wall outside his room and sighed, how did such a perfect morning turn into this huge mess? He had wanted to explain that the only reason why that doctor had his arm around Jaehyun, was to make his love interest, another one of Jaehyun’s colleague jealous but it was a classic Jaehyun trait to be at a loss for words in such situations. I’ll just explain to him later... Jaehyun let out the heaviest sigh before he started towards the main corridors for his morning rounds.

—

 

Jibeom was extra pouty the entire day, his crankiness could be seen by his five year old daughter too, as she tried ways to cheer him up but all her attempts were concluded in failure. 

 

“Sowonie?” Jaehyun peeked from behind the wall, slowly emerging with a doll in his hand. “This is for you.” He handed her the plushie which she received with her arms wide open. All these whole, Jibeom had pretended he didn’t notice Jaehyun’s arrival, focusing on peeling the apple in his hand. 

 

Jaehyun leaned down and whispered in Sowon’s ear, “Help me put in a few good words? Your daddy seems to still be mad at me...” Sowon giggled and nodded, “Daddy, won’t you have dinner with Ajusshi today?” 

 

Jibeom shook his head without looking up from the apple, “Tell that guy that daddy doesn’t dine with liars.” 

 

Jaehyun’s lips were pressed into a thin line, Jibeom must’ve been really mad this time. “I’ll go eat with the handsome doctor then?” Jaehyun tried this method of trying to make Jibeom even more jealous than he already was, maybe that would at least elicit some response out of him. But his reaction was disappointing, to say the least, “Sowonie, tell him that I don’t care, and that he can eat with whoever he wants, it’s not like we mean anything to each other anyways.” 

 

Jaehyun’s heart clenched, the empty feeling in his stomach intensified, his fingertips felt numb and icy, “I-I’m just kidding... I get that you’re probably not in the mood for anything today, I’ll just come back tomorrow. Goodbye, Sowonie. Jibeom... I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

 

"Goodbye, Ajusshi! See you tomorrow!" Sowon chirped cutely, waving enthusiastically with her small arms. Jibeom however, still maintained his back facing Jaehyun, not even bothering to greet him when he left.

—

 

Jaehyun checked his phone without any expectations, so he still couldn't understand how he was able to feel disappointed when there was a grand total of zero messages from Jibeom. Usually Jibeom would send him texts at night before he went to sleep and one as soon as he woke up, but Jaehyun figured his boyfriend was still mad at him. He wasn't surprised, he himself would've been too, if he were in Jibeom's shoes, but all he wanted was for Jibeom to give him a chance to explain himself, that it was all nothing but a misunderstanding. 

 

Jaehyun smoothened out his dress shirt as he threw on his coat, checking himself out in the mirror to make sure that everything was perfect. The pediatrics department was having their monthly general meeting and because the hospital's largest sponsor would be present today too, everyone was expected to be looking their best and smartest. Jaehyun rarely had an issue with formal events, even though it sounded a little shameless, Jaehyun had to admit that he looked good no matter what he wore. 

—

 

Jaehyun was greeted by the usual lovely smiles along the hallways and nurses gushing about how handsome he looked. 

 

Jaeseok caught up with him before he entered the conference room, "So, what's going on with you and the single dad?"

 

Jaehyun rolled his eye, "He has a name you know, it's Jibeom. And we're dating, we have been dating for a few days now... I think I love him." By the end of that confession, Jaehyun's eyes were practically in the shape of hearts. "He's cute, he's funny, he's just everything I could've ever wished for." 

 

Jaeseok scoffed, "I meant about how both of you came out of your room in the morning? So what went down? Don't even try to tell me he came over at 6am in the morning because we both know that's not possible, so spill!" 

 

Not only Jaehyun's cheeks were flushed red, even his ears which were hidden behind his hair was obviously a little pink. Without even using his words, his body had already betrayed him. "N-Nothing! He just slept over, alright? It's no big deal! We were just talking and all, and then it got really late so I just asked him if he wanted to crash for the night and he did! That's all! We didn't do anything else!" 

 

Jaeseok nodded, his expression saying it all, that he was definitely not convinced, but he still decided to let Jaehyun go this once. After all, he was happy that someone he saw as a little brother was growing up. “Alright, sure. Just be safe alright.” He shot Jaehyun a wink before heading to his assigned seat. 

 

Jaehyun took the minutes he had before the meeting commenced to calm himself down, fanning his cheeks to make sure he didn’t look like a ripened tomato during the meeting. 

 

Although Jaehyun had been working at the hospital for close to two years, he had only seen the main sponsor twice, once during the auguration ceremony of the chairman, and then, during the meeting. He was still amazed by how the man, presumably in his mid-forties, could still look so young and good. He was tall, well-built, handsome and definitely looked like a multi-billionaire CEO.

 

“Before we commence this morning’s meeting, I would like to take this opportunity to thank Mr Lee for joining us. Mr Lee will be giving us a short address this morning, please give him your warmest support.” The moderator stepped off the rostrum and handed the time over to Mr Lee, who greeted the crowd with his charismatic smile, “Good morning everyone. Trust that you all have been well? I have nothing much to say except that I’m heartened to hear that the Pediatrics department has been doing extremely well, with the increasing success rates of surgeries and more positive feedback from patients. The other reason why I am here today, is because my grand-daughter is currently admitted into one of the wards here. I am not worried about her condition, because I have utmost faith in every single one of you here, and I trust that she is in good hands.” 

 

Jaehyun’s mind wandered off as Mr Lee continued his speech. He has a grand-daughter already? Jaehyun tried to formulate the different possibilities, and could only conclude that both him and his children were probably married young and had kids early. 

 

Just as Jaehyun was twirling his pen in his hand, the door to the meeting room burst open. All heads turned towards little Sowon who was still panting from all the running she did, as she cried out, “Square Toast A-Ajusshi! Y-You have to h-help Sowonie... D-Daddy... Daddy is in pain! You have to help h-him! A-Ajusshi?” 

 

Jaehyun sprang up from his seat and was extra thankful for his long legs in that moment. Jaehyun thought he would probably regret in the future for leaving the meeting in such an unsightly fashion, but in that moment, all that was in his mind was the thought of Jibeom being in need of his help. He saw the tears streamed down Sowon’s cheeks and realised it was actually the first time he had seen her cry. Even when she was in pain throughout all her treatments, she had never once shed a tear, not in front of Jaehyun anyways.

 

“What happened? Why is he in pain? Where is he?” Jaehyun followed after Sowon who guided him by the hand, running along the corridors, earning curious stares from patients and staff alike. “I-I don’t know! Daddy just said he was in pain... and I didn’t know what to d-do...” Sowon could barely make her words audible through her loud sobs. 

 

Once they reached Sowon’s ward, Jaehyun’s hands trembled as he struggled to open the door, seemingly having lost his strength while panicking. “Ji-” Jaehyun was cut off by the sight of Jibeom sitting in Sowon’s bed, unscathed and looking fine as usual. Because he was so fixated on the fact that Jibeom was unharmed and healthy, he failed to realise that Sowon had already sneaked off.

 

“What the hell? I thought you were in pain? What’s going on?” Jaehyun was a little ticked off, alright maybe he was very ticked off. He walked towards the bed and stood by Jibeom. “Is this some sort of prank or-” 

 

“Happy Birthday to you~ Happy Birthday to you~ Happy Birthday Ajusshi~ Happy Birthday to you~! Happy Early Birthday Ajusshi!” Sowon made her entrance with a small cake in her hands, staggering a little as her huge eyes were focused on the cake, making sure she wouldn’t drop it. 

 

“Birthday? But my birthday isn’t until-”

 

“A week, yes, I know.” Jibeom pursed his lips as he sat up straight, taking over the cake from his young daughter. “I had this planned awhile ago, I wanted to celebrate it for you with Sowon before her surgery. But that was before I knew you were such a liar. I’m only doing this because Sowon kept pleading in your case. I’m still mad at you! Don’t think that because I’m celebrating your birthday, that all has been forgiven and forgotten!” Jibeom placed the cake in front of Jaehyun’s face, “Blow. Make a wish. Don’t wish for me to forgive you though, because I won’t! I’m still mad!” 

 

Jaehyun smiled adoringly at Jibeom, all the negative feelings he had seconds ago disappeared instantly. He couldn’t remember the last time someone bothered to celebrate his birthday, let alone surprise him. He clasped his hands together and was silent for a couple of seconds before he blew the candles out. Sowon squealed and clapped as Jaehyun did so, “Yay! Now we can eat the cake!” 

 

“Thank you, kiddo.” Jaehyun ruffled her hair affectionately, seeing how excited she was made him feel a pang in his heart. He had used his wish to hope for a relieve from pain for Sowon, he wished that she could enjoy her childhood just like her peers. 

 

“Square Toast Ajusshi, daddy is still angry at you... even though Sowonie tried to help you...” She pouted a little before she dug into the slice of cake given to her by Jibeom. “But I’ll tell you a secret! If you kiss daddy, he will be happy again! That’s what Sowonie always does when daddy is angry! Ajusshi you should try it too!”

 

Jaehyun felt his face burn up again as he looked at Jibeom from the corner of his eye, hoping to get a confirmation of some sort, “Ah, really? It doesn’t seem as though he will forgive me so easily though...” 

 

“What a coward... you won’t even try.. how would you know...” Jibeom muttered under his breath, loud enough for Jaehyun to catch it. “Ah, should I try? I should try it right?” Jaehyun moved closer inch by inch and settled himself down on the bed right beside Jibeom. 

 

Jibeom was purposely looking at fingers as he twirled them mindlessly, acting as though he couldn’t care less of what Jaehyun would do. “I won’t watch! I promise! I’ll hide here with my cake!” Sowon giggled as she snuck under the bed, digging into her cake as she hummed along to her favourite tune. 

 

“Now that it’s just us, will you let me explain?” Jaehyun reached over to cover Jibeom’s hands with his, squeezing them lightly, “It’s not what you think it is. The guy who had his arm around me was just using me to make his love interest jealous! That’s all! I swear there’s nothing going on between us, you know I only have eyes for you!” 

 

For the first time that day, Jibeom lifted his head and looked at Jaehyun right in the eye. Jaehyun was relieved when he saw the familiar playful and cheeky gaze in Jibeom’s eyes, “Really? You only have eyes for me? Who knows? From all the things I’ve heard from Sowon, I’m not sure if I know it anymore.”

 

Jaehyun raised his hand to pinch Jibeom’s cheek, “You’re cute when you’re jealous too. But you made a valid point! I haven’t told you how crazy I am about you, how about I show you instead?” 

 

With a raised eyebrow, Jibeom probed, “How?”

 

“Like this?” Jaehyun leaned in and gave Jibeom a light peck on the cheek. 

 

“This? I’m not sure I’m convinced.” Jibeom shrugged, a little smile tugging at the corner of his lips. 

 

“How about this then?” Jaehyun leaned in again and gave him a peck on his nose this time. “I’m crazy about you, Kim Jibeom.” He whispered, sending shivers down his boyfriend’s back. 

 

Jibeom shook his head playfully, teasing for more, “Not enough.” 

 

“Really? I’m not sure what else I’m supposed to do then? I was told to kiss you and I did, but it’s not enough?” Jaehyun cocked his head to one side, playing along. 

 

Jibeom sighed, “You’re so annoying, you know that right? Let me show you how it’s done.” 

 

Jibeom wrapped his long fingers behind Jaehyun’s neck and pulled the latter towards him, so close their noses were touching. “Happy Birthday.” Jibeom pressed his lips against Jaehyun’s, taking in his scent while enjoying the moment. 

 

Jaehyun kissed him back as feverently, with a heightened sense of urgency he didn’t know was in him, “I love you. I don’t know about tomorrow, I don’t know about next week, I don’t know about next year, but all I know is that now, right in this moment, I love you, Kim Jibeom.” 

 

Jaehyun could feel Jibeom smiling through their kiss, but before it could be deepened, the two were broken apart by the sound of someone clearing their throat. 

 

Jaehyun turned around to identify the intruder and his eyes widened when he realised who it was. 

 

“Mr Lee?”

 

“Dad?”

 

“Dad?!?”

 

Jaehyun’s mouth hung wide open as he glanced between Mr Lee and Jibeom. 

 

“I-”

 

“I see you’ve met my son? You guys seemed awfully close earlier on. Is this what you guys do while making your rounds? Hooking up with patients?” Mr Lee tapped his fingers along the edge of the bed, a raised eyebrow showed that he wasn’t pleased. 

 

Jibeom groaned, “Dad, stop acting like I haven’t told you all about Jaehyun. He’s the one that was handling Sowon’s case all these while.” 

 

The wave of information was still too much for Jaehyun to digest at that moment, he continued glancing between the father and son as though trying to grasp a better understanding of the situation. “You mean that... Mr Lee Daeyeol... the main sponsor of our hospital, is your father?” 

 

Jibeom shrugged once more, “Well, yeah... It’s no big deal... We didn’t want to make things complicated by announcing it, that’s why no one else in this entire place knows about our relationship.” 

 

The revelation was harder to deal with as compared to the medical field of work. It all made sense to Jaehyun now, how it seemed impossible for Jibeom to afford the private ward for Sowon, how it seemed that Jibeom wasn’t working but yet could always afford to wear nice clothes and eat out. He had come from a rich family, and Jaehyun should’ve known better. It didn’t pose as an issue per say, but now that Jaehyun is aware, he wondered what else he had to know about Jibeom. 

 

“Speaking of Sowon, where is my grand-daughter?” Daeyeol pretended to search high and low, completely aware that Sowon was watching him and giggling away. “Grandpa! Sowonie is here!” She crawled out from the bottom of the bed, face smeared with the remains of her chocolate cake. 

 

Daeyeol narrowed his eyes at the two grown men, “Because you guys were making out, you had my grand-daughter hide under the bed? Kim Jibeom, I swear if your other dad hears this, you’re as good as dead. You know how he babies her.” 

 

“Oh, how I miss the times he babied me like he does to her now. But hey, we were going to continue making out if you had not barged in like this! So would you mind?” Jibeom signalled to Daeyeol, making sure he caught his hint. 

 

“You ungrateful brat! C’mon, Sowon, grandpa will bring you out to play. Daddy seems to be a little busy.” Daeyeol held Sowon by the hand and made his way towards the door. 

 

“Thanks dad, you know I love you the most!” 

 

Daeyeol waved him off and turned around, giving Jaehyun one last look, “Treat my son well, he really likes you a lot.” 

 

Jaehyun could tell that Jibeom had an amazing relationship with his family, especially after Jibeom threw a pillow at Daeyeol, forcing him to make a run for the exit. “Your dad is really... young huh...” 

 

“He’s my step-dad... I guess. He married my biological dad when I was rather young, been together since then. But that’s not the point.” Jibeom cupped Jaehyun’s tiny face with his hands, feeling as though he had the entire universe in those hands.

 

“So... what’s the point?” Jaehyun’s eyes never once left Jibeom’s, even as the latter leaned in slowly, and even when their lips touched seconds after. 

 

“The point is that, I’m still not done with you.”

—

 

Jaehyun laid in bed that night, thankful that on the last day of December he got to spend it with the people he loved. He was thankful he got out of bed that one fateful- and freezing December morning, met Sowon, and subsequently the love he now held so dearly to his heart. 

 

In the days that followed, Jaehyun was preoccupied by the surgery and helping the little girl to recover well after. It wasn’t an easy process, but he was sure that the dinner with Jibeom’s parents that came after was more nerve-wrecking. Jaehyun was positive he caught Jibeom’s other dad glaring at him a couple of times, but Jibeom just reassured him that they were just over-protective of their only son, and that they would come to adore Jaehyun as much as Jibeom did. 

 

And that was how Jaehyun’s winter got a whole lot warmer this year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for sticking with this for the past months (many months lmao)!!!!! i hope you've liked this story, do leave comments! 
> 
> just a little sorry the ending seems rather rushed because i'm not really good at closing up stuff and "they lived happily ever after" would be a little weird, so let's just say they're happy with where they're at now!!
> 
> yay once again thank you for reading :)


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